It’s such a typical left wing Northern California thing—moaning about this most carnivorous of holidays. Us Veggies (okay, pescetarians too) get all worked up and say things like “tofurkey…wattle it take?” Seriously—I think gobbler smells like an old locker room, especially when you carnivores do that sandwich assemblage that means you’ve finally finished the bird off for good. But take that with a grain of salt from a yam killer like me.

A turkey is just an ugly Apteryx with a corn nut for a brain. Kind of makes being a vegan look good. (You put the stuffing WHERE?)

We love Thanksgiving at K&L for one simple reason—ANY WINE GOES WITH THANKSGIVING DINNER. Truth is, no wine really goes with it either, so every suggestion is valid. What’ll it be? Red, white or pink? Everyone has such conflicting emotions. The wine business is hell, I’m tellin’ ya.

Jim Barr does a turkey call. I know that is not surprising in itself, but to hear him go “gwahbble guh-wahbble” is absolutely priceless. With his bald dome, hanging flap of skin under his chin and his locker room scent, the guy is a natural.

Wines that don’t go with Thanksgiving dinner:
1994 Ducru-Beaucaillou, St-Julien ($86.99) Loads of character here— layers of ripe red fruits, minerals and earth. Not too heavy and (thankfully) not too tannic. A real beauty in a style I adore. Plus, I’m coming over for the feast, so make me thankful and serve this one.

2005 Stonyridge Larose, New Zealand ($89.95) Claret style Kiwi wine? Yup. World class stuff and ’05 was killer down there. The wine has unmistakable Bordeaux styling and will age beautifully. Herbs and cassis and balance here. This is a great wine and it will get better. Decant three to four hours or lay it down. A must for the balanced cellar.

1983 Sterling Cabernet Sauvignon ($29.95/Magnum) Focused and full flavored, a lovely mature cabernet for thirty bucks a magnum. C’mon cheapskate, here’s your chance—show up with a mag of cab for gobbler and be a hero.

While Thanksgiving is a uniquely American anomaly, other countries have adopted the holiday. Adapted it, too. Some examples:

United Kingdom: Thanksgiving is called “Black Thursday” here. The Brits were big losers as far as Turkey day goes. Later they tried the beads and baubles thing with the Irish, with disastrous results. For the feast, crow is substituted for turkey.

Turkey: Ah, the mother country. Turkey Day is actually on Christmas day here and the gobblers are festooned with lights and tinsel. The Manger Parade takes to the streets at midnight. Maria Muldaur is cast as Mary, Daniel Day Lewis as Joseph. After the ceremonial pipes are lit everyone sees Jesus.

Norway: Ludefisk is dried, reconstituted and pounded into the shape of an elk. The drink of choice is Bordeaux laced with Aquavit, called “trow uppe” by these hearty Norskies.

Happy Gwahbble Day!
—Joe Zugelder